continuing to build with cloudy pillars and sun beams

26 September 2025 by Jane Marie Bach 1119 words • 6 min read

Tags: posts, concrete, birthday, swimming, complaints

well I've moved on from pre-teeth to my new post-teeth lifestyle and the times have been trying. I ate enough mush for a lifetime, I said goodbye to joints for three weeks, I slept with a bag of frozen corn. by the time I recovered, and no sooner, the construction crew stopped hammering on my apartment wall for the first time in months... although sometimes I still hear a fantom hammering in my head.

now I am sick in bed again, but this time with no hammering! so I can form sentences again. here we go...

bye for now, charlie

bittersweet to finish up at the Concrete House for the year. I really loved my time there this year; birdwatching in the garden, cooking on the old range, eating ice cream on concrete toadstools. I didn't make much money but it was much better than the nothing I'm making now. Orion was very good company - he even played Shaggy when I had a joker moment. I miss the consistent routine, being surrounded by art, and feeling competent and inspired. hopefully, I will have time to spend there again in the future - it's been a second home these past few months.

we ended the season with one last open mic. a couple guys talked about how men have a hard time crying and hugging, and then they hugged. there was a beautiful rainy sunset that night.

the Keefers & a brief trip to ON

a poem from Nic's uncle Steve, a beautiful wedding gift:

you and I are making good macarroni salad,

we are growing 'peas' in our valley.

Malinda and Caleb are continuing to build with cloudy pillars and sun beams.

The last line gets me every time.

I was honoured to be a bridesmaid at Malinda and Caleb's wedding earlier this month! after the first day of school, I took off for Ontario. Nic and I painted some plates as a wedding gift but we never got a pic of them, we also made a funny yarn garland.

It was a very beautiful wedding. The ceremony was in front of a pond and the crickets were nice and loud, the light was dappled, everything was covered with lace. I soaked up the last warmth of summer, spent the evening barefoot in the grass. there was even a bunny who hopped by. Nic was a very charismatic MC (I'm sure the red wine helped) and I got to meet a lot of kind & welcoming family members. Hopefully I wasn't too grumpy - my teeth (or lack of) were still really bothering me. Nic's family has always been so sweet to me, I'm quite lucky.

I also visited my sisters, parents, and grandparents (all within one evening). My grandpa got an appendectomy the day before I got there, so I was glad he was recovering well. I surprised my sisters with a visit and they showered me in the most heartfelt gifts. Brooklynn has quite an artistic eye and hand and she drew me a horse in a field of flowers. Leyna gave me a free ticket to African Lion Safari haha. I even got to stay for a bedtime story. Also got a seashell mirror that used to be in my great grandma's bathroom - it makes me feel like a mermaid and is a nice reminder of her.

the garland

Nic's dad, Russ, taking time to smell the roses

caterpillar matched the lace

some of my sister's rock collection

bedside table drawer at my nana's house. always hard to leave a house so full of love.

in conclusion, sisters are so so special.

adèsse day

another major event has come to pass since I last posted... THE one and only Adèsse Brown completed another trip around the sun. I am very inspired by them. how they are so connected to the community, care for bees, and apparently fix cars now. I always feel seen around them and I only hope to do the same. Nic and I were talking the other day about how Adèsse would be our one phone call in a life or death situation (no pressure, Adèsse, I just mean to say you are very trustworthy, responsible, and kind).

last summer, when we started working together at the concrete house, I was very nervous that I might get on their nerves because 8hrs a day together is a big step in any friendship, let alone a newer one. It's the whole "don't move in with your closest friends, you might hate each other" dilemma. anyway, it was worth the risk to get to know adèsse - the more time I spend with them, the more there is to admire! adèsse made me my first hodgepodge and painted sparkly maps and showed me how arrange 3 teacups in a little circle. how lucky was I.

for their birthday this year, we had a picnic at the wharf in avondale. we ate Orion's beautiful meringue and then I shared a blanket with Amelia to warm up after a sunset swim.

back to school (for the 19th consecutive year)

I'm struggling with returning to school. I wish that wasn't the case, because the access to knowledge that I have at my disposal is really exciting and I love to learn, but I'm pretty bummed. especially this year, I'm disappointed to be back for a 5th year at a program that's shutting down, more broke than ever, facing the uncertainty of job prospects, and without my friends to keep me grounded. I haven't seen the horses since before school, haven't played music for me, haven't been on a walk. although I try to make the most of it, university leaves me constantly lonely, overwhelmed, and incompetent. plus, I'm tired of hearing myself complain about it, so I can't imagine how my friends and family feel. it's not without glimmers, though, like drumming outside in Ken's class and drinking tea in the library. my motto these days is "it's called playing music." I'm trying to hold on to play.

i've had a few moments of reprieve night-swimming at the river. sometimes, when I finish my assignment late at night, it feels unfulfilling to go to bed empty after a long day of work, so (if I can convince Nic to drive) I say fuck it and go float under the stars while it's still nighttime and I can pretend there aren't a million things competing for my time. I hope I get a few more swims in before it's too cold.